Autumn has been doing its jazz dance with blazing colors set against blue-blue skies in the afternoons, and softly smoldering in dense foggy mornings. October is a beautiful month here in the Willamette Valley. In town, the colors run from burgundy to bright red, orange, yellow, and glow-in-the-dark variations of all of the above. When we drove through the costal range last week, the colors were mostly yellows, golds, and greens. We went looking for a salmon run, and did not find any salmon, but did see some whales. You can see the view from my office in the photo to the left. Yes, it looks out on the parking lot, with the cemetery in the distance, but I'm usually looking at the sky and trees. The Right photo is the view of a play area from our kitchen window and front porch.
It’s been a while since I posted. In truth, I fell into a hole. When school started, the numbers for my daytime class dropped as teachers returned to work, and I started hearing that if the numbers did not improve (they want an average of 10 per class, and my classes are at non-prime hours) then they would cancel the day class. I was hoping my Zensation workshop would spark some interest from new students, but it didn’t. (Zensation is a newer Nia routine that dives more deeply into the nine movement forms that make up the Nia Technique – and I had fun playing with the material.) At the same time, I was working hard on a project for the landscaping team here at Coho. I like hard work, but at one point, it became clear that, while my work was appreciated, my creative energy was not, really. I had a big meltdown a couple of weeks ago and spent the next week coming to the realization that my heart was broken. This is a common theme for me. Other times in my life I have come to the realization that the needs of the group do not always meet my needs, and it sparks a period of withdrawal and reassessment of where I am and where I want to go. (The periodic Scorpio crash and burn. It is my birthday today.) Those periods have always felt nurturing, and alone; it’s a space to nurture myself into the next stage.
I have spent a lot of time in the past seven months getting moved in, and integrating as much as possible into this community. It is a small village. It takes a long time to integrate into any small community. So my challenge right now is to integrate on my own terms. For now I am in a period of withdrawal, and that will probably change soon, when I find a fit that meets my needs. (And maybe not, we’ll see.)
I so miss the connections I felt with Austin folks. People are nice here. They are very intelligent, politically savvy, and caring (this community is so concerned about providing for the food needs of the larger community that they are holding meetings with our neighbors about it). There is just a good bunch of people at Coho, and in Corvallis in general. I guess I miss the special warmth of being around those who have seen me go through all my crap and love me anyway. I miss the physical warmth and sensuality of people from warm climates. I love the physicality of people who dance and express from the heart and soul without words. I do get that in my classes, I just want more of it outside of class. I so appreciate the beauty, courage, and grace of those who do Nia, I want an even bigger group to share that experience with.
While my daytime class is ending, and perhaps, the connections with many of the special women I have met there (though I hope not), the evening class is doing better than it ever has, in spite of many people telling me that they can’t come because it is too late for them. I’m missing some beautiful students because 7:00 to 8:00pm is so late, and others are coming and discovering that this is what has been missing. I am seeing men other than Austin, in class. This is new for Corvallis – men in Nia.
I also decided that now is the time to reach out to people outside of Coho to get more of that sense of connection that I miss from so many of you in Austin. (And I am following through and learning more about life in Corvallis.) Of course, I would love it if you Austin folks would move here. It is unbelievably gorgeous. You can drive for an hour and be at the Pacific Ocean. Drive for an hour in the other direction and you are in the Cascades. Drive for 10 miles and see the most amazing wildlife sanctuary full of party-down Canada geese right now. Drive 10 miles in the other direction and hike in old growth forest. Drive an hour and a half and be in Portland. And, this is a big bicycle town, so no need to drive everywhere. It is heaven, but it would be even more so with friends and family from Texas. I miss you and your warmth. You can always come visit… You’ll see that I’m not exaggerating the beauty of this place.
